Spiritual Ugh…sounds kinda strange. But if you are being honest with yourself, you know you have felt the same way at different times in your life. Life is not all roses and candies all of the time. It’s not all good feelings and positive vibes every minute. There will be days when it will be hard to keep that smile on your face. Days when this world is so strong in your face, that you forget the Truth of His love. I had one of these days recently, right in the middle of a challenge for the women’s ministry at my church. Truth: Satan always attacks you when you are on the verge of the biggest growth.
Twice a year the women’s ministry at our church has a 5 week challenge for women that we call Training Camp. It’s open to all women, whether they go to our church, Grace Community, or no church at all, doesn’t matter. As long as you can make the kick off meeting in person and complete at least one of the challenges every week, you can join. Every week there are different challenges that cover four different areas of growth; Wisdom, Stature, Favor With God, Favor With Man. On this particular week the Favor With God challenge was this (I quote): “Choose one meal this week to fast (push yourself, don’t pick an easy one). Water only. Pray ahead of time and know what you are bringing to God during this time of fasting. Feel free to do an entire day as well. Post on your small group page one thing you are bringing to God during your time of fasting.”
The challenges are posted on the closed Facebook page on Sunday but begin on Monday. That way you have a day to look them over and prepare whatever you need to prepare for the week. I decided to do my fast closer to the end of the week. You know, so I can be better prepared. So this was how my Monday morning started…
This morning I packed a nice big salad and fresh kiwi for my lunch. Brought it into work and stuffed it nicely in the refrigerator in my office ready for the noonday meal. I was so excited, I love salad! Especially big salads with tomatoes and cucumbers and spinach and lots and lots of honey mustard salad dressing! I couldn’t wait for lunchtime!
Then, Jesus says to me (yes, He does talk to me and He will talk to you too, if you pay attention): “Kelly, this is the day you need to fast.” Ugh, really? Of course, it’s a Monday!
My response: “I don’t know about that, Jesus. I already packed my lunch for today.”
Jesus: “I know. Today is your day.”
Me: “I think I might need another day to pray about what I need to bring to You during my fast.” I really wanted that salad!
Jesus: “You already know what you need to bring to Me. Today.”
Me: “But there might me something more important…”
Me: (Sigh) “Yeah…today.”
Of course He was right, and I knew it. I really need to learn to stop trying to negotiate with Him. It always comes down to this one thing, He is always right, He always knows the best way. Something I just need to remind myself of before I start trying to negotiate my terms.
So, here was the problem that Jesus knew I needed to bring to Him…
I don’t know if anyone knows what a “spiritual ugh” is, but I was feeling it this morning! It’s not that I don’t feel love for Jesus, because I absolutely do. My heart is full of and understands His love. It was more of a, this world is intruding on the Truth of His love, kind of thing. The world was shoving His love into the background. And that is not a good thing. His love should always be out in the forefront of our lives, defining who we are. It needs to be that big red flashing light that says to people, “Stop! I’ve got something I want to share with you! And boy, is it good!” And that is most definitely not what my light was saying this day. It was more of a dull blinking light that was saying “Nope! Not today, people. Stay away.”
As I was trying to understand why I feel this way sometimes, Jesus said to me (yep, He’s still talking to me), “Kelly, stop! You will drive yourself crazy if you keep trying to understand it. You don’t have to understand it, you just have to know how to combat it.” Right! But, how do you fight something you can’t even see? What weapon do you even use? It’s simple…Truth. So I looked up some verses and posted them all over my desk all around me. I prayed them out loud all morning while speaking to God. Here are a few of the verses I surrounded myself with that day.
“For even if the mountains walk away and the hills fall to pieces, My love won’t walk away from you, my covenant commitment of peace won’t fall apart.” The God who has compassion on you says so. – Isaiah 54:10
But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me. – Psalm 13:5-6
If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is. – 2 Timothy 2:13
Here’s the thing, I don’t need to be reminded of my love for Him, because I am not always faithful. I am not always steadfast and true. (I am after all only human.) 🙂 But I do need to remember that no matter what, His love is always faithful. He is always steadfast and true. His unfailing love is the only Truth we need to defeat the spiritual ugh.